This summer I took the initiative of seeking and visiting a new therapist. Not only has this experience helped me navigate through the trauma I’ve had the difficulty of letting go, but it’s also forced me to understand my perspective on relationships, sexuality, feminity, and race.  As I’ve taken some time to just live life, I also revisited old drafts of poems and recreated these pieces.

The past, present, and future are constantly in dialogue. They meet when I take the time to reflect. They force me to extract inspiration from my surroundings and appreciate life for what it is and less for what it “should” be.

I encourage you to do the same. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, unravel yourself and enjoy your process of reconstruction. Thank you to my beautiful friends Amy, Lydia, Natalie, and Vanessa and all the beautiful women who have inspired me throughout this process. This one is for you.

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Lunar Eclipse

At midnight la loba sale a comer,

Pero a la Luz del día, ella se esconde detrás de sus sombra.

Afraid to see her reflection, a selfie she will never take.

Despite how much she hides behind her deadpan,

Como muertos caen a sus pies.

The silhouette of her body allures you into her spell,

making you irresistible to her stare.

She struts as the moon paves her way,

while men shout in heat,

“If looks could kill!”

“Una diabla de mujer!”

 

Stronger

Even the strong woman deserve a love so strong, it breaks her.

 

ya me artaste.

I wanna lock myself in the bathroom with the shower on

pretend to miss your call and say that “I was busy.”

I wanna cut my hair and die it blonde,

and if we run into each other in public,

I pretend to be my long-lost-twin sister Vanessa.

I wanna go out with my girls and dance un perreo sucio en La Placita,

while I wail TE BOTE along with the beaming speakers.

I wanna pretend I’m Mujeres Assesinas; feed you to the dogs.

I wanna throw my pager out the window,

tell MCI to cut the phone calls,

block your number, or maybe just turn off my read receipts…

 

YA ME ARTASTE!

 

I’m sorry

“Un dia, cuando nos encontremos, te quiero pedir una disculpa.”

 

Cold Showers

Underneath the tungsten sun,

she rides through the heat waves down Ocean Dr.

Ella es una mujer sincera y grita

guajira guantanamera

Gregarious with a scent of coconut and palm trees all year round.

Her smile is bright and crooked, even J.Cole would sing about it.

When she speaks she gives direction; a whiff of her confidence fills your soul.

Doe like with a lioness deamonr.

She is everything and more.

She is cold showers in the summertime; brings you back to life.

 

I take cold showers in remembrance of what I was once like.

The taste

I know you’ve been here before

Inhibited

Unattained

Crossfaded with Mark Twain

 

I saw it in your eyes

the slip of your lips

It reminded me

searching for an easy tomorrow with curiosity on my lips

 

I told myself tonight would be different because that’s what we deserved

Acknowledgment at its finest

Sweet nectar on your curves

 

A kiss on the lips

Two fingers with a switch

Unforgettable, I’ll admit

Like a virgin on her first time

 

Empowered is what I felt

as I gazed at your elegance

“You’re a goddess” I whispered

“I’m a queen” you whimpered

Scream to the heavens I begged

 

And there a proclamation I made,

that a queen you shall be,

Forevermore,

My Cherie Amour, pretty little one that I adore